Race

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I've mentioned it before, but it's worth repeating and gives the back story for my question, so here it goes.  Every year we take two kids off the Salvation Army Angel Tree.  We started when we were trying and failing to have kids and then had a miscarriage.  That year we bought for a kid in memory of the one we lost.  We had another miscarriage the next year and now we always get two kids off the tree to buy for.  As the boys start to understand, we'll include them in the tradition and try to pick kids close to their age.  I usually try to pick girls off the tree to satisfy my need to buy pink frilly things.

Each tag lists the child's first name, their clothing sizes, and three toys or gift ideas.  One of our girls this year wanted a bike, scooter, and a Dora doll and stroller.  Bike and scooter not really in our budget, but a Dora doll and stroller and a few other toys are.  The other girl wanted a bike, dishes set, and a doll.  No bike, but I did find a cute dishes set, so that leaves the doll.

Now, growing up, I almost always had dolls that looked more like me.  And most of my friends did too.  My white friends had mostly white dolls and my black friends had mostly black dolls, though it seems like my black friends had more white dolls than my white friends had black dolls.  But that's filtered through 20 years of memories, so may not be entirely accurate.  When Cabbage Patch Dolls were all the rage, I had one with blond hair, my sister had one with red hair, and my cousin had a boy doll.  All closest to what we looked like. 

So I'd like buy the Angel Tree girls dolls that look like them.  But I don't know what they look like.  So I ended up standing in the doll aisle wondering which doll to get.  If I can get a character doll like Dora, great.  If I can find a doll that has medium tones and could look like a big range of people, great.  But usually the choices are, well, black and white.

Am I just over thinking this?  I mean, I certainly don't care what doll my kids play with as long as it's not dressed like a $10 hooker.  Do you tend to buy dolls that look like the kid you're buying for?  Do your kids have a range of different looking dolls?  Should I just stop worrying about it and pick a doll already? 

Comments

[Shawna]

Can you find an Ernie and Bert doll set? LOL! I know that Eden (a BIG doll lover) doesn't care. She just loves her babies. A Dora doll is a very safe choice, but I would just go with whatever you like. Throw in an extra diaper set and the fake bottles and you will be the best person to ever walk the planet. It's all about the accessories!

[Shawna]

I get what you are saying. Tough call. maybe go with this one...

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3162425

it's supposed to have a medium skin tone.

[Angela]

I totally hear you on this one, but I think adults tend to think about these things more than the kids do. I'm sure she will love which ever doll you choose. Great family tradition by the way. We do something similar at work where we "adopt" an entire family and purchase groceries and gifts for every family member. It's such a great way to celebrate the season!

[New Reader]

I think that what you are doing is wonderful in terms of giving 2 girls a chance to get some toys that they really want. I wouldn't over think it because the reality is that with the economy the way it is these 2 girls are extremely lucky that they are going to get something. I was just at my church looking at the Angel tree and there are still a lot of kids that have not been chosen. Many people this year that were planning to give to others may not be able to do that. I live in Ashburn, VA where the Redskins work out. I saw them giving out turkeys for Thanksgiving and they ran out. Each year they have always had more than enough. They started to hand out vouchers for people who were in line. That just shows that many people are hurting these days. Just remember that you don't have to get the toy that they specifically want but know that what you are doing is really special and you are making 2 girls really happy come Christmas... Enjoy your holiday and don't worry because I am sure that the dolls you pick are going to be perfect!

[Dooneybug]

If the girls you picked are the same age as your boys, I don't think the race of the doll matters. My son plays with all the dolls at our ECFE class each week (they have black and white baby dolls). At this age they don't really know the difference, they'll probably just be excited to have a new doll!

[Liz]

I wouldn't overthink it too much. I understand the idea of that if you know the kids but seeing that you don't, I would just pick what you think is cute, within budget and age appropriate. It's a fantastic thing you are doing and I'm sure these children will be happy just receiving something from your family!

[Teendoc]

Jenn, I completely disagree with the comments that you are overthinking this. If the kids are black, there is a powerful message already in their heads about the beauty of the white doll over the black doll. Remember Kiri Davis' video that I posted on my blog a few years ago: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17fEy0q6yqc

If you can find out the race/ethnicity of the kid you are buying for, that would be great. Otherwise perhaps you should go with a character doll like Elmo or Dora. But yeah, it really does matter.