Intimidated
The thought of potty training intimidates me. I have NO idea where to start or how to go about it. For most things child related, I'm pretty laid back. I get worked up about something now and again (like speech) but for the most part, I figure it will all work out in the end. I thought with potty training I would just kind of know what to do and when they were ready.
Yeah. Not so much it turns out.
Months ago, they did start to show an interest in bathroom activities. We bought a couple of potty chairs. They sat on them with glee. It was the BEST. William even peed in it a few times. Then they lost interest. I didn't want to push it, so they sat there gathering dust and didn't worry about it anymore. I figured when they were ready I would know.
Now, I think William is ready. He doesn't like having a wet or dirty diaper. He'll actually go and get out a diaper and wipes and...stand on his head. I don't know why he stands on his head, but he does. He's weird. So I've been encouraging him occasionally to sit on the potty. And he will! But then he jumps up after a few seconds. He sees the potty as a gateway to a few minutes of pants free time. And who doesn't love pants free time? So he'll sit for a minute then jump up and run around the kitchen with his bits flapping in the breeze until I can wrestle him down and slap a diaper on him. I've tried rewards for even sitting on the potty (a sticker, which today backfired greatly, apparently my stickers were made out of hot lava). I've tried giving him books to read on there. No dice. I tried putting him in underwear, which he kept dry, but was only in them for maybe an hour.
Again I wasn't going to push it, but today he went and got a diaper and the wipes BEFORE he went. I tried to get him to go sit on the potty to go, but he absolutely refused. Again with the hot lava. I don't want it to turn into a struggle. Nick doesn't seem interested or ready at all so I haven't worried about him yet.
My mom says to take them every half hour until they go. I just don't think he'll sit there long enough to go. I thought about trying cold turkey and putting him in underwear or no pants for a few days, but, um, hello? New carpet? So basically I'm out of ideas. I think he's ready but maybe I should wait anyway? He still doesn't have the language skills to tell me he has to go, but a lot of times I can tell. Do I try to train them both at the same time, or wait with Nick till he's more ready?
With our triplets, it was a lengthy process, trial and error, and each child needed a slightly different approach - they are individuals, and to some extent were ready at different times, anxious about different things, interested in different rewards. We started teaching all 3 together, but they got it at different times.
Here's some stuff to try, may or may not work for you...
Go to the library. Get some books on potty training for parents, and lots of books on potty training for kids. (Sounds like you have some now.) Sesame Street books are good, but there are lots of others. Also get videos about potty training - Once Upon a Potty is good (goes with the book), and so is Potty Time with Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House.
Maybe he will sit on the potty for 15 minutes while watching a video about the potty? We tried that for a while. You could also try setting a kitchen timer for 3 or 5 minutes to show him when it's time to get up, then sing songs or read stories while waiting.
Sure, work mainly with William for now. Nick might get interested, and then he can join in, but it sounds like W is the guy who has the most potential right now. Nick will still benefit from the books and videos, good prep for later on when he is more ready.
Try a week of intensive training, when you will mostly stay home and be really consistent with reminders and routines. You will probably need to use cotton training pants and deal with accidents. Outside in the backyard is a good place, easy to hose down! Or try cotton pants with a pull-up on top, so he feels wet but makes less mess. If there is no great success, it's okay to take a break for a couple of months (return to pull-ups or diapers), then try again.
Best of luck!
Posted by: tripleblessings | June 24, 2008 at 21:36
Every child has a price. Start with mini-m&ms for TRYING. Once they get the hang, only an m&m for success. AND POOP GETS A HUGE PRIZE.
If mini-m&m's don't work, roll thru the treats until you find one that does - keep them in diapers, this is just to get the hang of it.
Once you're sure they get that they have to tell you first, you can give undies a try - NOW THAT IT'S WARM, TAKE THE POTTY OUTSIDE AND SPEND THE DAY OUTSIDE. Make sure they wear sandal type shoes that are easy to clean if they get peed on.
GOOD LUCK - we are training tyler now - i make him go every 45 - 60 minutes - with underwear on. Twice today he TOLD us to take him, which is progress! we started on Friday.
Posted by: VHMPrincess | June 24, 2008 at 21:47
Oh potty training. My mom ALWAYS tells the story that I was trained before my brother was born. We are 18 months apart. So When I found out I was preg with #2 I started thinking of all things potty. I tried EVERYTHING. I kept him in underwear and just got 10 pairs of wet or dirty inderwear. I tried rewards. Everything. Finally I gave up. I had baby #2 and just bought two packs. Then one day my son went into the bathroom took off his diaper and started going. That was it. All my tears and failures and there he was. Potty trained.
With my daughter I decided I would not do that again. Just kind of let her initiate it again. She was a "hot lava" potty girl too the couple times I tried. But now she is doing great. Just having accidents when she doesn't want to stop playing. She is so proud that she does this on her own. She doesn't even want anyone in the bathroom when she goes!
Good luck!
Posted by: Simple | June 24, 2008 at 22:03
I'm going to try potty training with Ant this weekend, using the book "toilet training in less than a day" by azrin and fox. I think it's well worth a read, even if you don't use their method. It's an intensive morning / day of potty training, but at the end, your child is able to do the whole thing with no help - and it seems like it would take a lot less time than the "putting them on the potty every 30 min" method. I'm going to give it a shot... I'll let you know how it goes!
Posted by: Nico | June 24, 2008 at 22:10
We thought our daughter was ready at 2 but really it didn't click until 3. Daddy went on a business trip for 1 week and we didn't go anywhere. She stayed in panties in the day and a pull up at night. After that week she was potty trained but not number 2. It took another 10 months to get her to go on the toilet. She would hold it everday until bedtime and then go in her diaper...never failed. The doc didn't seem to think it was a big deal. Then she got the runs in public and had to use a toilet and then she never looked back.
Our son doesn't want anything to do with the toilet and he is 2 1/2 years old, you have time with the boys.
I have friends who live in Thailand (they are missionary's)and she doesn't use diapers for her 10 month old...at all, they put her over a bush and make a noise and she goes. When they are in the city they will take her to the bathroom and hold her over the toilet and she will go.... Amazing!!
http://loriandpaul.hopedenver.com/babynotes/2007/11/diaperless-update.html
Check out her blog, the link above is a diaper less update.
Good luck, you are doing great!!
Posted by: Christy | June 24, 2008 at 22:44
My advice - don't stress out about potty training. Our pediatrician said when they're ready, you'll know it and boy is that true. My boys were not ready until closer to age 3 (my daughter was about 2 1/2) and then they practically potty trained themselves (no joke). My oldest started wanting to change his own diaper. I told him if he just went on the toilet, I wouldn't have to help him and he could "do it by himself." Three days later he was COMPLETELY potty trained - no accidents - nothing. My MIL thought he was much to old to just be potty training, but boy was it easy. We had tried all kinds of crazy antics closer to age two, but everything was a no-go and the whole family was stressed out so we just waited and everything worked out just fine.
Posted by: 1hot&tiredmama | June 25, 2008 at 01:17
P has a definite interest in her potty, but unfortunately it doesn't extend to actually wanting to sit on it or use it. She says "potty", knows "poo" and "wee" goes in it, but doesn't seem to want to put her own poo and wee in the toilet.
At the moment, I'm laid-back about it all. I figure she'll do it when she wants to. However, ask me in another few months and I'll probably be stressing about it.
Good luck, whatever you decide!
Posted by: MsPrufrock | June 25, 2008 at 08:52
I don't have any advice, so I'm just here supporting and wishing you good luck. I'm also copying and pasting this whole thing with the comments for my own future use, because I have a feeling it will be here before I know it.
*hug*
Posted by: Kir | June 25, 2008 at 09:54
Lots to say, it might come out all jumbly...
1. Don't do both at the same time. Avery's not ready, and if I tried to force it now we'd all be miserable. She just doesn't feel that sensation before going yet. Plus, it's a pain in the ass to run scrambling for a bathroom when one says "PeePee, Mommy!" much less two of them, in public. I'm thankful every day it's just one at a time.
2. Don't rush it. W sounds like he's getting ready, but you might need to talk it up a bit longer. I think I rushed in with Alex when he was like William, and now it's ME who's trained, not him. He doesn't tell me nearly as often as I am asking him and just know when he goes.
3. I don't recommend candy as a reward. It backfired on us - he would do a tiny trickle, get an M&M, trickle more, get another M&M, etc. He could work the system.
4. Other readiness signs - can he pull the pants up and down by himself? That's been a big hurdle for us. If he can't yet, start working on it. (Did you see my "too many holes" underwear pic on the message board?!?)
Good luck!
Posted by: Jenni | June 25, 2008 at 14:07
Good luck - I have no advice as we didn't have to go through that...
Posted by: jeanie | June 25, 2008 at 22:29
I wish I had some helpful advice, but I have actually zero experience in this arena, and quite frankly, I'm just as scared as you are. We have a potty in the hallway outside the bathroom, for no other reason than to just make him aware of it. He's aware of it alright. He sits there and repetitively opens and closes the lid.
Posted by: statia | June 26, 2008 at 23:12