Not twin friendly

When we first found out we were having twins, one of my biggest fears was how to take to babies to the grocery store by myself.  Turns out that was the one of the easier things, at least when they were babies.  But now that they aren't babies anymore (WAHHH!!!), it's become a bit more difficult.  The last few trips I succumbed to something I swore I wouldn't do.

I put them in the big, giant, car cart.

Now I don't have anything against people who use the giant car cart on a regular basis, but let's face it, they are giant, huge, obnoxious, and as it turns out, difficult to steer.

They also make shopping with twins a lot easier.

The boys can hold my hands across the parking lot and walk up to the front of the store when they keep the car carts.  They'll even climb in themselves.  And, and!, they have two steering wheels so no fights over who gets to "drive".

Genius.

The only problem is that once they've had enough, William will drag his hand along the floor of the store and point out every. single. item. on the lower shelves.  Nick takes a more direct approach and tries to escape through the windshield.

Most places don't have double carts or even giant, obnoxious car carts though and it can make shopping with two toddlers difficult.  As far as local stores go, Home Depot has to be one of the least twin friendly places, though it's up there with Pier One what with it's narrow aisles and brightly colored, highly breakable, toddler magnets.  But let's focus on Home Depot.

Now, I get Home Depot isn't exactly kid friendly in general.  But when you need just the right shade of teal paint for the front door and the evil bastards your home owner's association won't let you change it, well you don't have a lot of options.  Plus I had to return a fire extinguisher that was empty when we bought it.  Nice.  The parking lot has no place for cart return.  So I parked closest to the massive jumble of carts that had accumulated as I could.  Nick had been voted Most Likely To Bolt so he went in the seat part of the cart.  Now, sometimes I'll put one in the basket part of the cart, but these carts are shallow and they'd fall out.  So I had the brilliant idea that William could hold onto the cart and walk. 

Yeah, he didn't go for that.  He would hold my hand though, so I'm trying to steer the cart with Nick and Fire Extinguisher of Death with one hand, hold William's hand with the other and try to get us through the parking lot without getting hit by a van.  I get to the returns counter, get my money back, and head to the paint counter, again steering with one hand and holding William's hand, and trying not to plow into the lovely display of potted plants and cement (one stop shopping!).  At the paint counter I try to explain that, yes, I understand this lovely shade of Cafe On The Riviera doesn't come in exterior paint, but say, you think we could get another brand that does have exterior paint and, oh, now I'm not a paint expert or anything, but maybe match it and make it something that at least resembles Cafe On The Riviera so I can get on with my life since I'll never get these seven minutes of my life back anyway?  Yes?  Ok, thanks.

At this point William decides he will in fact hold on to the cart and push Nick into the nearest display.  Touche, William, nicely played.

I get my quasi Cafe On The Riviera and head to the garden department because the weather is warm and I'm dying to get some herbs going because I miss being able to walk out on the deck and grab a handful of herbs and cook.  Nick's content in the cart, William is trying to behave, bless his heart, but after the 100th time of him trying to put curly leaf parsley in the cart when I clearly explained I only want flat leaf, well, my patience was wearing thin.

Flat leaf parsley was not meant to be FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILLIAM LEAVE THE CURLY LEAF PARSLEY ALONE!  IT IS INFERIOR TO FLAT LEAF!  NO! DON'T PUSH YOUR BROTHER INTO THE TOMATOES! and we moved on except they chose that exact time to close the aisle so a forklift could move things which is fascinating to two nearly two year olds and NO, MAMA!  WE WILL NOT MOVE UNTIL TRUCK IS GONE! VROOM VROOM VROOM!  The truck leaves and we head to check out.  William once again will not hold the cart so now I'm steering the cart with Nick, herbs, no parsley, and a big bag of dirt which I then realize has a big hole in the top with one hand and holding William's hand with the other. 

I go to self checkout because only one line is open in the regular checkout and the line is huge.  I scan everything, but when I get to the dirt, THIS ITEM REQUIRES ASSISTANCE!  The only "assistance" is on the phone.  He comes over, does something and I try to pay.  I use the store credit from the Fire Extinguisher of Death (BURN FOR I AM EMPTY! MWHAHAHA!) and then try to use cash and it starts screaming at me, "UNAUTHORIZED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!  PLEASE REMOVE ITEM!  UNAUTHORIZED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!  BITCH IS TRYING TO STEAL!  SWARM SWARM SWARM!"  Only there is no effing unauthorized item in the effing bagging area.  William takes off with the cart and Nick and Assistance is back on the phone.  Catch William, throw him in the shallow death trap cart, hope for the best, and give him a paint stick to play with.  Sword battle ensues.  Assistance finally assists.  Get bag of dirt and wheel the whole mess back to the car.  Get the kids in, get the plants in, get the dirt in and snag the bag on the stroller and dump dirt all over the back of the car.  Fling cart at massive jumble of carts and watch another woman running to her car where her kid was because there is no way to return the cart without leaving the car momentarily unattended and feel a moment of compassion.  But then noticed she was wearing a fanny pack and the moment was ruined.

Thus ends the trip to Home Depot.  I need a bottle glass of wine.

Comments

[Kristin]

Twins..bless you..one of my biggest fears during my second pregnancy was twins. Good luck to you!!!!

[Stacie (The Twinkies)]

I don't hate the giant car carts so much as I hate seeing them with only one kid in them. There are a limited number to go around and if some selfish jerk takes them people with more than one kid are just SOL.

[Liz]

Oh you win....I thought I was having a hard day but that just put it into perspective for me. :-)

[Sonja]

Self-Checkout is the biggest scam since "stainless" steel.

[MsPrufrock]

Wow, I'm tired just reading that. I've just returned from an exhausting jaunt in which chasing my nearly 2 year old featured heavily. I can't imagine twice the exertion, ugh.

[Gin]

Lowes. Race car carts. Not big and giant (well, big, but not giant) because the kids actually sit up where they would in a normal cart. No escaping either - you can actually SEE them. I THINK they sit two.

I hate driving those things, but it keeps him happy. Even better is that some grocery stores have such a small basket behind the fire truck/school bus that the infant carrier doesn't fit in it well, so the bucket gets smashed in there and often a little stuck.

[Jenni]

I laugh (and cry) only because I live it. Every single weekend, thanks to my HD addict of a husband. Anytime we pull into a parking lot, before I even have the van off, Avery starts yelling AISY WALK, AISY WALKWALK!!! There is no putting one in the cart and one out - what one does, the other must do. I've found using leashes and letting them play in the PVC pipe connector aisle keeps them happy. And the paint sticks - we steal a couple every time.

[H]

My twins won't go for walking up to the store and then being put into a cart. If they get a taste of freedom, there's no restraint that can hold them. It's got to be straight from van to cart (or stroller - I still implement the push stroller/pull cart method, but usually only at Target...then I'm a 15 foot long Mumma-train to be reckoned with!).

My only hope of getting grocery shopping done with the kidlets in tow is to find a race car cart already out in the parking lot. I've actually vultured one before. I second the feelings of frustration when I see someone with only one child in them. Drives me nuts since my grocery store only has 5 race car carts to go around. (And, I refuse to rent a tv cart, b/c the basket is so tiny and the kids don't need to be watching tv while we shop.)

[jeanie]

Oh Jenn - forgive me for laughing at your pathos. I can only imagine living it.

[Paranoid]

If it makes you feel better, grocery shopping is an ordeal with one toddler, too. Twin moms undeniably have it worse, but singletons still play the "race car! Race car! Nooooo! Want out! Want to walk! Nooo want to ride in the race car!" game.

And for the record, I am totally unapologetic about using a race car cart for my one child. They're meant for all parents with toddlers, not just those with multiples. It's not just multiples who hate/refuse to sit in the basket of a normal cart.

[Kir]

Holy Mother of God, I'm going to start drinking now! I thought they were hard to shop wtih now. :)
Thanks for the giggle and for the glimpse into my future...I'll take the other half of that bottle..if you're sharing :)

[sylvia]

my daughter is having twins in august, and i'll be going out to CA to help her out in june or july until about november, when i have to temporarily return home. i keep trying not to be overwhelmed about how she'll make it with the twins and her 3 yr old. of course, there's her husband, but still.......