Jenn's Journal

Well, something I was wearing was removed...

But, no, it wasn't a burlesque show.  And while I do love all things Elvis, it wasn't an Elvis show either.  I was part of a magic show.  The one show Dave really wanted to see was Penn and Teller, so I was able to at least keep that a surprise until we pulled up in front of the Rio. 

We had awesome seats (front and center) thanks to my Dad and step-mom (a birthday present to both of us).  Approximately 30 seconds into the show, Penn pulled me up on stage and took my glasses.  They ended up on Teller.  After hammering a block of his face.  Here's a video of the same trick when they did it on David Letterman, just, you know, substitute me for Paul.

Afterward they were signing autographs and taking picture and Dave got his picture taken with each of them.  Of course I left my camera at the hotel, so this was with Dave's cell phone, but you get the idea.

Returned

I just got back from four days in Vegas.  It was fun, but with jet lag and a little Nickopotamus who thinks if he goes to sleep I might disappear again so is employing stall tactics like "MUCK!  MUCK!!  WAHHH!" when I know full well he's not thirsty because he HAD milk and water before bed, I just am too tired to blog about it.  But, to keep you guessing, a poll.

We went to see a show while we were there. I actually participated in it and got up on stage.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Of course I take full credit for this

I haven't been back to Home Depot since the last trip in search of Cafe On The Riviera and flat leaf parsley didn't go so well.  So when today I announced that I needed, yes, more paint (Springwater!), Dave suggested gently that maybe I should leave the boys home.

But lo and behold, I pulled into the parking lot and noticed cart returns!  I was pleased.  Then I saw something even better.

Double seat carts.  Without a car attached to them. 

I saw, and it was good.

Obviously they read my blog and decided to take action.  I'm SO taking credit for this.

Bite me.

I wrote this whole long post about how Nick can count to two and even though he can recognize the number eight (and surprised the hell out of me because I didn't know he knew that until we were in Target and he pointed to the number 8 on the register sign) yet he still will only count to two and there are a lot of things that come in pairs, but my browser crashed and saved you all from a not very funny, excruciatingly long and potentially boring to everyone but my mother who doesn't even read my blog post.

Short version: Nick counts, One. TWO!  Over and over and over again all. day. long.  Wish he'd get to three already.  And Internet Explorer can bite me.

Instead, I will regale you with a different tale of how brilliant my children are!  Fun and excitement for all me!

William still is not talking very much and it's a slight nagging worry at the back of my mind.  It also means I think he knows a lot more than I can really tell because he can't verbalize it.  Like I'm sure he gets the concept of counting, but he can't say the numbers so I don't know what exactly he knows.  I think he recognizes most of his letters, but he can only say a few and tends to default to a D sound for almost anything so a lot of letters he identifies as D even though I think he knows what they really are.  But he is also very methodical and thinks through things.  He'll figure out how things work.  He can line up his trucks according to size and does so without prompting because I think he prefers it that way.  He does not like his routine disrupted and it's taken me a full month of nice weather to convince him he does not need a jacket to go outside after having to wear one all winter.  His fine motor skills are excellent.  He loves pretending and will cook me lovely soups of apple, chopped ham, and mustard in his play kitchen.  He'll feed his teddy bear/monkey/baby doll from a sippy cup or spoon, lay it down for a nap and cover it with a blanket.  He'll also give it a ride on one of the trucks.  He builds complicated Lego structures that are tall, yet structurally sound.  He hasn't been biting as much anymore.  I've tried teaching him to go after a pillow and it's been working.  He'll get mad and bite the couch.  I praise him for making a good choice and he settles down.  He also peed on the potty this week after not going on it except for twice months ago.  He loves helping with everything he can.  Like fetching Mommy the remote when she's tired and lazy. 

Nick on the other hand is talking up a storm.  He's started saying "Mine!" but only when William takes what he was playing with.  He hasn't been biting much either.  When I put William in time out for biting last, Nick ran over and sat with him and kept telling him, "No bite.  No bite, Me-yum.  No bite." and trying to comfort him since he was so upset from being in time out.  He's very affectionate and will often stop what he's doing for a hug.  He'll ask to come up and if I ask him to be polite, he'll say "Peas."  I think he recognizes all the letters except for maybe C.  He says it's a D but I think he can't really say C yet.  I've been writing out his name for him and explaining what it says.  Yesterday, one of us wrote it out for him and didn't tell him what it said.  When asked what it said, he said, "Nick!"  I think he may be able to "read" HAT too, but he only did that once.  He astounds me sometimes with things he knows like that and then he'll do something like spin around in a circle until he's dizzy and try to walk and fall over and laughs about it.  He'll also play ring around the rosy by himself, shouting, "DOW!" and falling over.  He calls dandelions that have turned to the white fuzzy things "bubbles"  and he likes to pick them and try to blow it off.  He likes to pretend he's asleep by laying down and pretending to snore.  He's impulsive and I have to worry about him running off or into the street.  He prefers to jump right in rather than try to figure it out.  His Lego towers are wobbly but he doesn't care because he's just going to knock them over anyway.  Jumping is one of his favorite things to do.

Random Confession

I tell my children mini rice cakes are cookies.

They believe me.

Classic moments in hygiene

Today we were out in search of flat leaf parsley since the last expedition for it didn't go so well.  While out, we decided to stop for some lunch.  They boys typically do really well in restaurants.  They've graduated from highchairs to booster seats.  Usually the biggest problem we have is making sure Nick doesn't eat the crayons and that neither of them color on the table. 

Today was really no different.  The thoughtful waitress even brought us a cup full of croutons when she saw them eating ours off our salads (they love, love, love croutons).   When we were getting ready to go, Nick was playing peek-a-boo with the placemat and pretending it was a hat and William was announcing to the entire world that we were DA! DA! DA! DA! (done).

We've been trying to teach them to clean up after themselves a little by giving them a napkin at the end of their meal so they can wipe off their face, hands, and tray/table.  Nick usually just rips the napkin in half and occasionally tries to eat it.  William loves cleaning up.  So Dave handed him a napkin, he wiped his face quickly and started shouting DA! again.

I was trying to keep him quiet so I asked him to clean his face.  He wiped his face.

"Clean your hands."  He wiped his hands.

"Clean the table."  He cleans the table.

"Clean your cup."  He wipes off his sippy cup.

"Clean your shirt."  He swipes at his shirt with the napkin.

"Clean your tummy."  He makes a quick pass of his tummy, stops, looks at me, and proceeds to pretend to wipe his butt with the napkin.

Yes, that was my child wiping his ass at the dinner table.

Sending out an SOS

I am at a total loss with how to handle the boys.  It seems I have a couple of biters.  And hitters.  But let's focus on the biting.

Nick went through a biting phase but I thought he was mostly over it.  But he's started back up and William is even worse than Nick.  They bite when they're mad, angry, frustrated, etc.  They'll wrestle with each other and end up biting.  Nick has two bite marks on him tonight that have lasted several hours.

Tonight was...rough.  I'm sick.  I thought it was allergies; it's not.  I can't breathe, my throat is sore, and I've got body aches.  So admittedly my tolerance is low and my patience is thin.  Nick was laying on the floor and William decided he should lay on top of him.  Nick got upset, I pulled William off and he hit me.

Now I've had a lot of success with Nick and hitting and time out.  Nick really needs time out like it's intended, not so much a punishment as a little time away from everything to settle himself down.  I'll sit him on the landing of the stairs and tell him he can come down (it's two steps up) when he's ready.  He'll stay a few seconds and come down and he's much more pleasant.  William just doesn't need time out as often and when I do try it, it's not all that successful.

So when William hit me, he went in time out.  Same rule, come down when you can behave.  He came right down, ran over to me and tried to bite me.  I held his head back (my hand on his forehead) so he couldn't actually bite me.  But he found this funny.  Back in time out.  Repeat the trying to bite and laughing.  So the third time I thought maybe he was just playing and wasn't really going to bite me.

I was wrong.

He bit me hard.  And I yelled.  And put him back in time out.  And he tried to get down again.  I wasn't having any of that though.  There's a gate to the rest of the steps and I put him behind the gate on the steps so he couldn't come down on the landing.  He did not like that.  Wailing, screaming, crying so hard he started coughing.  After a little less than a minute, I picked him up, reviewed that there is to be no biting, hugged him and put him down.  He was upset for a little while until the magic joys of string cheese were bestowed upon them both.  He was fine the rest of the night until Dave committed the unpardonable sin of making him wear pajamas.  But we let them have a book in their crib (usually that's for nap time only) and all was right with the world again.

So I just don't know what to do or how to handle the biting.  I hate it.  I can't let them bite each other and I worry they'll bite other kids (assuming they ever see other kids).  Advice welcome.

Be kind.

Itchy

Mental Sticky Note #5

• Nick is starting to put words together into sort of sentences.  Every time we come to a red light, "RE EN TOP!"  (translation: Red means stop!"
• He's also bossing Gizmo (one of the cats) around.  The other day he offered her some milk from his sippy cup.  She refused, but he thought maybe she just didn't get it so he kept pointing to his mouth, mimicking drinking, and then putting the cup to her mouth. 
• They both can recognize most of their letters.  I think there's only a few Nick doesn't quite know.  I think William knows more than I think but because he can't say them yet, I'm not sure exactly what he knows.
• They are obsessed, OBSESSED with letters.  They "read" everything.  I did not know we saw so many letters every day.  Word World is their favorite show (granted the only shows they know of are Sesame Street, Bob the Builder, and Word World, but it has surpassed those). 
• Speaking of letters, Nick grabbed the W magnet he had and told me, "Duh-duh-doo!"  Then he flipped it upside down and said, "OH NO!  Where'd it go?  M!  M!  M!  Where duh-duh-doo?  Oh no!"  Then he'd flip it right side up and shout, "DUH-DUH-DOO!!!"  Over and over and over again.
• They both know all the colors. 
• They each climbed up a seven foot slide and went down by themselves (Dave was spotting at the slide and I was spotting at the ladder) but damn near gave me a heart attack.
• William loves cars and trucks.  Mostly he likes to put them all in a line, bumper to bumper, and push the last car to make the whole line move.  When they get to the end of the table or window sill or wherever, he'll push the other end car and make them all go back.  He derives great joy from this.
• They like ground beef if it has taco seasoning on it, but not plain for hamburgers.
• William loves to be a helper.  He'll help with everything I'll let him whether it's carrying something for me, retrieving something, helping up off the couch, or showing putting his dirty diaper in the pail.
• Neither of them want anything to do with the potty anymore despite their original fascination (and limited success) with it.  I think we'll put it away for awhile.
• Gizmo was foraging under the highchair for leftovers.  Nick saw her and yelled, "Mimi!  NO!  Itchy!"  which translates to Kitty, no, icky.  I don't know why he calls cats mimis.  And he itchy is too cute.  He now thinks everything he's not supposed to touch is itchy.
• They take care of each other.  They'll get each other's cups and snacks and hand it to the other one.  They'll get books out for each other before nap time (they get a book in their crib at nap time, they love to lay there and read).  They won't go downstairs in the morning unless the other one is close behind.
• We have to do roll call at least 3930 times a day.  This involves pointing to everyone in the room and naming them.  Mama!  Dada!  Nit! AyeUh!  They finally get who is who between the two of them.  If I ask where William is he'll point to himself and Nick will point to himself and say NIT!
• They're challenging at times, but, damn, they're adorable.

Not twin friendly

When we first found out we were having twins, one of my biggest fears was how to take to babies to the grocery store by myself.  Turns out that was the one of the easier things, at least when they were babies.  But now that they aren't babies anymore (WAHHH!!!), it's become a bit more difficult.  The last few trips I succumbed to something I swore I wouldn't do.

I put them in the big, giant, car cart.

Now I don't have anything against people who use the giant car cart on a regular basis, but let's face it, they are giant, huge, obnoxious, and as it turns out, difficult to steer.

They also make shopping with twins a lot easier.

The boys can hold my hands across the parking lot and walk up to the front of the store when they keep the car carts.  They'll even climb in themselves.  And, and!, they have two steering wheels so no fights over who gets to "drive".

Genius.

The only problem is that once they've had enough, William will drag his hand along the floor of the store and point out every. single. item. on the lower shelves.  Nick takes a more direct approach and tries to escape through the windshield.

Most places don't have double carts or even giant, obnoxious car carts though and it can make shopping with two toddlers difficult.  As far as local stores go, Home Depot has to be one of the least twin friendly places, though it's up there with Pier One what with it's narrow aisles and brightly colored, highly breakable, toddler magnets.  But let's focus on Home Depot.

Now, I get Home Depot isn't exactly kid friendly in general.  But when you need just the right shade of teal paint for the front door and the evil bastards your home owner's association won't let you change it, well you don't have a lot of options.  Plus I had to return a fire extinguisher that was empty when we bought it.  Nice.  The parking lot has no place for cart return.  So I parked closest to the massive jumble of carts that had accumulated as I could.  Nick had been voted Most Likely To Bolt so he went in the seat part of the cart.  Now, sometimes I'll put one in the basket part of the cart, but these carts are shallow and they'd fall out.  So I had the brilliant idea that William could hold onto the cart and walk. 

Yeah, he didn't go for that.  He would hold my hand though, so I'm trying to steer the cart with Nick and Fire Extinguisher of Death with one hand, hold William's hand with the other and try to get us through the parking lot without getting hit by a van.  I get to the returns counter, get my money back, and head to the paint counter, again steering with one hand and holding William's hand, and trying not to plow into the lovely display of potted plants and cement (one stop shopping!).  At the paint counter I try to explain that, yes, I understand this lovely shade of Cafe On The Riviera doesn't come in exterior paint, but say, you think we could get another brand that does have exterior paint and, oh, now I'm not a paint expert or anything, but maybe match it and make it something that at least resembles Cafe On The Riviera so I can get on with my life since I'll never get these seven minutes of my life back anyway?  Yes?  Ok, thanks.

At this point William decides he will in fact hold on to the cart and push Nick into the nearest display.  Touche, William, nicely played.

I get my quasi Cafe On The Riviera and head to the garden department because the weather is warm and I'm dying to get some herbs going because I miss being able to walk out on the deck and grab a handful of herbs and cook.  Nick's content in the cart, William is trying to behave, bless his heart, but after the 100th time of him trying to put curly leaf parsley in the cart when I clearly explained I only want flat leaf, well, my patience was wearing thin.

Flat leaf parsley was not meant to be FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILLIAM LEAVE THE CURLY LEAF PARSLEY ALONE!  IT IS INFERIOR TO FLAT LEAF!  NO! DON'T PUSH YOUR BROTHER INTO THE TOMATOES! and we moved on except they chose that exact time to close the aisle so a forklift could move things which is fascinating to two nearly two year olds and NO, MAMA!  WE WILL NOT MOVE UNTIL TRUCK IS GONE! VROOM VROOM VROOM!  The truck leaves and we head to check out.  William once again will not hold the cart so now I'm steering the cart with Nick, herbs, no parsley, and a big bag of dirt which I then realize has a big hole in the top with one hand and holding William's hand with the other. 

I go to self checkout because only one line is open in the regular checkout and the line is huge.  I scan everything, but when I get to the dirt, THIS ITEM REQUIRES ASSISTANCE!  The only "assistance" is on the phone.  He comes over, does something and I try to pay.  I use the store credit from the Fire Extinguisher of Death (BURN FOR I AM EMPTY! MWHAHAHA!) and then try to use cash and it starts screaming at me, "UNAUTHORIZED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!  PLEASE REMOVE ITEM!  UNAUTHORIZED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!  BITCH IS TRYING TO STEAL!  SWARM SWARM SWARM!"  Only there is no effing unauthorized item in the effing bagging area.  William takes off with the cart and Nick and Assistance is back on the phone.  Catch William, throw him in the shallow death trap cart, hope for the best, and give him a paint stick to play with.  Sword battle ensues.  Assistance finally assists.  Get bag of dirt and wheel the whole mess back to the car.  Get the kids in, get the plants in, get the dirt in and snag the bag on the stroller and dump dirt all over the back of the car.  Fling cart at massive jumble of carts and watch another woman running to her car where her kid was because there is no way to return the cart without leaving the car momentarily unattended and feel a moment of compassion.  But then noticed she was wearing a fanny pack and the moment was ruined.

Thus ends the trip to Home Depot.  I need a bottle glass of wine.

Be a Dancing Queen

Without shame, I admit to have Dancing Queen on my iPod.  With slight shame, I'll admit to singing along at top volume.  If my sister is in the car with me, I'll sing even louder...but so will she.  It's quite a sight.  Not quite as big a sight as the time in seventh grade where I had to choreograph a song and lip sync and dance along with two other girls.  We chose a Debbie Gibson song.  And I admit that with great shame. 

Anyway, Ponds is having a contest.  If you're over 40, grab two friends and sing Dancing Queen or Mamma Mia.  Make a video of your performance and you can win a trip for the three of you to London.  Details are here, but the deadline is April 30th.

Any other cool contests out there?